Stoley Studios
by RatherOddRanger
Summary: UPDATED CHAPTER 5! Following the death of his father and a failed acting career, Stan Marsh found himself back in the town of South Park and stuck in a dead end job. However following a phone call from his ex-fiancee, and with the help of adult film directors Kevin and Lola Stoley, he's life is about to change in a way he'd never imagine. Rated M for mature themes, no actual sex.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.

A/N: Big shout out and thank you to Majuscule Milquetoast for beta reading, hopefully like her you'll enjoy this too.

**Stoley Studios**

**Chapter 1**

Stan Marsh stood in front of the full body mirror inside the studio's dressing room. He looked at his costume he was required to wear for the shot, it was a very nice replica of the Bane outfit from Batman: The Animated Series, even down to the large tube in the back of the neck area.

He let out a long sigh, was he really ready to do this? Should he be doing this? Was the $200 worth it?

Wendy was right, he was making more filming this scene then he did an entire week at his old job. ''You'll be paid $200 to fuck me!'' She had told him alongside ''I've missed you Stan, breaking up with you was a stupid mistake, I'm sorry, please take me back.''

He paused to think, had she really missed him or had she merely sought him out thinking just so she could make some money?

He shook his head, ''No'' He mentally screamed at himself ''She said she still loves you, she was even still wearing the engagement ring … Wait …. Shit! Are we still engaged? I forgot to ask!''

He had got so caught up in the rekindling of their relationship, his shitty job, the fantastic make up sex and caring to his depressed mother that he had actually forgotten to ask.

''Stan?'' He heard Wendy's voice behind him. He turned to see her dressed in a grey spandex Catwoman suit based very much on the 90s cartoon series.

After all they were starring in a porn parody based on that series, the costumes had to look close to the cartoon designs as possible.

''Are you ok sweetie?'' She asked him, there was genuine concern in her voice.

''Yeah ..'' He replied slowly. ''Just a bit nervous is all.''

Wendy put her hand on his shoulder, slowly moving it up and down in a reassuring manner.

''It's ok, everyone gets nervous on their 1st shot but don't worry about it. Trust me you'll forget the cameras are even there once we get started.'' She leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before turning to get her props like the infamous Catwoman whip.

''Are we still engaged?'' Stan asked which caused Wendy to spin around wide eyed in shock ''I … Wha?.. I mean … I'm sorry?'' she stammered to get out.

''You … you never returned my ring after our break up last year … and .. And you said you were still in love with me when we went for that coffee 3 weeks ago…'' Stan said nervously.

'Stan …'' Wendy replied, she too sounded nervous. ''Like I said, breaking up with you 5 months because I was jealous over you getting that role was stupid. I was just being a jealous bitch.''

''That's not what I meant Wendy, I mean did you still want to marry me or not?'' Stan asked her.

''I never returned your ring but it's been so long Stan.'' She pulled out the ring from underneath her costume, she had it attached as a necklace. ''I've been wearing it for luck when I did the lesbian movies, man those paid well but I've just missed my parents so much which is why I moved back.''

''Plus Lola and Kevin now own a porn studio, here in our home town of all places.'' Stan said with a chuckle.

Wendy laughed. ''Yeah that too, but I was also worried, I mean I missed your dad's funeral, hell I didn't know until Lola told me, so I just assumed you would be angry with me.''

Stan looked to the ground, no offence to Wendy but he didn't want to think about his dad's funeral roughly 10 minutes before his 1st porno shoot. Wendy however did notice she struck a nerve.

''Sorry'' She said softly. ''That's the last thing you need to think about.''

Stan looked up at Wendy and saw the concern in her eyes, he took a deep breath and decided to be honest.

''I won't lie, I really wish you had been there but I can't blame you, we both cut all contact, hell you didn't even know I left LA and I'll be honest I didn't realise I was until my mom had her breakdown. Losing my dad hit her hard and finding only that shitty cleaning job at McDonalds didn't help me feel better.''

He walked over to Wendy placed his hands on her shoulders and pulled her into a very loving kiss. Wendy wrapped her arms around his waist pulling him closer to her, she really wished she could stop time and enjoy this moment.

Regrettably however Stan broken the kiss, but still kept her close, so close their noses were touching threw the fabric of their face masks.

''But … getting that call out of the blue from you, seeing how you clearly did miss me that cheered me up. I won't lie I was taken aback when you mentioned Kevin and Lola's offer and like you said, how is it anymore degrading then cleaning vomit off the floor?''

He gave Wendy a little kiss on the nose.

''I won't lie, a little bit nervous especially as you told me this is your first straight porn scene.''

Wendy nodded, ''Yeah Kevin and Lola pretty much have a couples only roles for certain actors, they say it makes the sex look less fake. Granted they have a few exceptions like Kenny who's just a man whore but they won't force us to have sex with anyone else if we don't want to.''

''Is that why you called me?'' He asked.

''Well that and I did miss you and still love you.'' She leaned forward and kissed him again. ''I do still want to marry you Stan but I'm in no rush. Let's get things sorted first like help your poor mother and maybe a place together you know? One step at a time.''

Stan nodded, that was a good enough answer for him.

''So short version, yes?'' He asked with a goofy smile only to have Wendy roll her eyes and playfully tap him on his head calling him silly.

A knock was heard at the door followed by a voice.

''Guys? We're about ready to shoot the scene'' Jason called them. ''Lola just wants to double check if you need make up before we get the cameras rolling, see on set in 5 ok?''

''Tell Lola we're ready!'' Wendy shouted to him before turning back to Stan. ''Are we?'' She asked him.

''With you?'' He asked. ''Yeah I could do anything!''

Soon they were on the set, it was a rooftop building replica up against a green screen, pretty basic stuff but the rooftop itself did look like something from a Batman movie.

Years of working on various fan films had helped Kevin learn the best way to make a decent or passable set within a budget and Stan was pretty impressed.

Kevin walked up to him and patted him on the shoulder, ''You ok?'' he asked his newest star.

''Yeah'' Stan replied ''This looks a lot better then some of the movies I played an extra in.''

''This is our rooftop set, we originally built it for the gay Batman movie Lola wanted to make'' Kevin began as he walked Stan around. ''Seeing how it took us like 3 days to build it we decided to keep it seeing how we're taking over the super hero sub genre in the porn market''

''Yeah this would be perfect for a Spider-Man porno.'' Stan replied smiling, there was something he wouldn't say no to making.

''Tempting but two have already been made, maybe once another movie is released. Then again, it's not like there aren't other heroes we could parody …'' Kevin placed his hand under his chin as he thought what else was left.

''Scarlet Spider?'' Stan asked.

''Tempting, heck we've got Jason do some research on a Nightwing movie plus Arrow is doing well on TV. Man we'd make a small fortune if we did a Deadpool movie based on the comics, heck we could stick the Taskmaster and Sandy in there easily.'' Kevin said with a smiling forming.

''Here's an idea!'' His wife Lola shouted across the set to them. ''How about we finish this movie first before we decide on the next?'' She finished crossing her arms partly in frustration, they were 2 days overdue and still had another scene to film after this one.

Lola was just thankful they hadn't filmed it in scene order, otherwise they would have 3 more scenes to film including this one.

''Sorry sweetness, let me just give Stan his directions.'' Kevin replied with a quick kiss on Lola's cheek. Stan let out a light chuckle, it still amazed him the schools 'king of the nerds' managed to marry a cheerleader, a girl voted 2nd hottest in the class at one point.

''Just make it quick ok hon?'' She asked in a much more happier tone. 'Douglas and Emily will be here within 2 hours and their babysitter can only stay until 9pm today.''

''Relax sweetness this'll will only take a minute.'' Kevin turned to me, his eyes screamed 'shut up and listen', it was work time.

''Ok Stan …'' He began. 'First you fake back break Kenny over there, then in gratitude Wendy is going offer to fuck you. After you make out I want you to turn her around and press your hard-on up against her butt crack and then grab and squeeze her tits.''

Stan nodded. ''Got it.''

'Feel free to rip parts of it open especially around the breasts, we've got another 3 spare and I doubt we'll film another Batman related parody in a long time'' Lola commented before someone was trying to get her attention.

''Ah Bluecap needs to double check something, see you fellas in a minute.'' She said as she walked over to Bluecap their cameraman.

''Yeah like Lola said, feel free to rip it open to squeeze Wendy's breasts or lower for when you eat her out ok.''

Stan nodded, ''Right, you ok with me making a rip that REALLY exposures her for the close up?'' Stan commented, making sure he was emphasising the 'really'.

Kevin clicked his fingers and nodded at Stan.

''Bingo, as your squeezing them, try and rub her pussy as well, get moaning and then she'll turn round and give you a blow job. Don't cum and try your best to hold back as I then want you to go down on her before you start really fucking her hard, then you can cum anywhere, pussy, stomach, face etc, just anywhere really.''

He nodded at Kevin as he took everything he was telling him in, he seriously had no idea a porn shoot was this complex,. He thought it was just a basic 'fuck your girlfriend and get paid' deal.

Granted he wasn't complaining.

''Ok, any questions? And keep in mind if you want to back out, I have no problem. You have to feel comfortable and willing to do this Stan. Wendy said she would only do straight porn with you and to be honest I don't mind. Got the same deal with Douglas and Emily, heck me and Lola were the same when we did the Star Trek ones.'' Kevin told him as he put his hand on his shoulder, he was clearly worried Stan would freak out or something.

Stan took a deep breath and nodded, he was ready to official become an adult film star.

''Ok let's do this.'' He said smiling.

''Yes.'' Kevin fist pumped into the air, with one hell of grin on his face. ''Good man, that's what I want to hear!''

''But …'' Stan began. ''I have one question.''

''Go ahead.'' Kevin replied.

''Is Kenny just going to lay there when I fake break his back and watch me and Wendy as we fuck in front of h-?''

'Relax.'' Kevin interrupted. ''Kenny's a professional, he's done a good chunk of these movies with me and Lola. He won't get his dick out and start jacking off if that's what your worried about.''

Stan stared at Kevin for a minute before bursting into a fit of laughter, Kevin soon followed but then the pair of them had to put their game faces back on when Lola called them both over.

Kenny was ready and waiting to film, granted he looked a little hung over from the drinking session he had with Stan last night but he wasn't needed to do much thankfully.

Soon all three of them found their marks and within a minute Kevin shouted 'ACTION!' and they were a go.

''Alright Catwoman!'' Kenny barked as he pulled out a batarang ''You coming in quietly or do I have to make this difficult.''

''I doubt it Batman'' Wendy cooed at him, her eyes fixed on Stan who was hiding in the shadows. ''My friend has other ideas.''

That was Stan cue, he jumped out roaring 'BATMAN' at the top of his lungs and grabbed Kenny unawares by the shoulder, pulling him down to his knee, screaming ''I BREAK THE BAT!''

As soon as he felt Stan's knee on his backside Kenny let out the fake scream and soon fell to the floor as Stan threw him down hard, thankfully the SFX would be added later to make it sound more realistic.

Stan looked at his friend laying there on the studio floor as he wiggled in pain, his face was facing away from the camera, so Kenny gave him a wink to show he was ok.

Stan was actually partly scared he would injure Kenny by mistake when he first read the script.

''Now feline …'' Stan said trying to make his voice as deep and gravel like as possible. ''My payment for assisting you?''

Still in character Wendy licked the back of her hand, not once breaking eye contact with Stan.

''Keep your shirt on Bane …'' She began as she seductively walked over to her fiancée, wrapping her arms around his neck, her face inches away from his.

''Or rather take it off'' She said as they kissed.

A thought went through Stan's mind as Wendy let out a small moan as he tightly squeezed her left arse cheek hard.

''Wendy was right …'' He thought. ''You do forget the cameras are there …''


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.

A/N: One again big shout out and thank you to Majuscule Milquetoast for beta reading and thank you for all of the positive reviews. I won't lie I was a bit worried people wouldn't like the content of this one. Anywho here's chapter 2 early for you folks. Please enjoy.

''I was just wondering.'' Stan began. ''How on earth did you and Lola manage to set up a porn studio anyway? In our home town?'' He questioned before taking a sip of his beer.

At this moment in time Stan was currently sitting in a bar alongside Kevin, Lola and his fiancée Wendy. You wouldn't believe a mere 5 hours ago they had just finished filming Stan's first scene as an adult film star.

The rest of the cast and crew from that day had headed home, Douglas and Emily's babysitter had to go at 9pm, Kenny was still hung over and even at one point started snoring during the film, Bluecap had decided to hit the gay bar in hopes of getting lucky and Jason had promised his room mates a nice home cooked meal.

Kevin looked to his wife and then back at Stan who's question had taken him back a bit. He wasn't offended but more confused that Wendy hadn't told him the complete back story or that he hadn't heard it from word of mouth.

Then again probably for the best, if Stan didn't know the about the purchase history then maybe he didn't know how his father really died.

''Well as cliché as it sounds, it's a bit of a long story.'' Kevin began but then took a very long and deep breath. ''But before that I need to be honest with you about your dad.''

Lola's eyes widen in shock the second her husband mentioned Stan's dad, she turned to Wendy who looked away awkwardly.

That's when Lola realised, she hadn't told him, she assumed she had.

''Crap.'' Lola mumbled.

''My dad?'' Stan asked confused. ''What does my dad have to do with your company?''

''Stan …'' Wendy quickly interjected. 'Please believe us when we say, we thought you knew otherwise we would have told you.''

''Knew what?'' Stan asked a bit annoyed. ''Why are you guys suddenly acting so strange when I asked you a question and now bringing up my late father?''

''Stan … '' Kevin began nervously. ''Your dad helped us out in a BIG way, he vouched for us during the initial purchase proceedings and even offered us a good chunk of money for the down payment. Without that money we wouldn't of been able to buy the building and the latest cameras and editing software at the same time.''

''So my dad was a sort of co-owner?'' He asked confused.

''Sort of …'' Lola took over. ''Your dad signed over his half of the studio to us in exchange for a few favours.''

''FAVOURS!?'' Stan asked wide eyed.

''He wanted to make and direct a few of his own movies.'' Kevin said with a small sigh. ''Including a adult biopic about his life, from high school, to college, to his boy band career, to meeting your mom and then ending on his wedding night.''

''HIS WEDDING NIGHT!?'' Stan shouted.

''Sweetie please calm down.'' Wendy asked as she rushed over to calm him down, grabbing his shaking hand and squeezing it hard. ''You know what your dad was like, he always wanted to have fun.''

''I … I ….'' Stan stammered.

''But we were a bit worried about doing the biopic so we decided to help him get his sea legs so to speak. We let him direct one of the Star Trek parodies we filmed, it's still in post-production, needs a good edit including a score.'' Kevin said trying his best to reassure Stan.

''And he kept pushing to do a Murder She Wrote parody because he still found the original actress hot!'' Lola added.

''Isn't she like 80 now? Who on Earth could we get to play her?'' Kevin asked.

''Our former elementary school Principal said she'd be interested.'' Lola added.

''I … I …'' Stan continued to stammer, his eyes wide with shock.

''But then during one shot that's when he had the heart attack that killed him. I'm so sorry Stan.'' Kevin said with genuine sincere.

''Probably best not to mentioned he died in the same studio we just filmed the Bane scene in today.'' Lola pointed out to her husband in a whisper.

''I … I …'' Stan continued to stammer, his eyes going even wider with shock and horror.

''O sweetie come here.'' Wendy said as she grabbed Stan's head and held it tight to her chest. ''It's ok to cry sweetie.''

Silence then flew upon the group, Wendy raised an eyebrow.

''Stan? … Sweetie?'' She asked as she looked down at him, his face bright red alongside a giant grin.

''Actually … I'm pretty ok with my face buried into your boobs like this.'' He mumbled. ''O yeah …. Definitely missed these …. O yeah …. So comfy … so warm …. So soft …''

Stan let out a low moan as he buried his face deeper into Wendy's cleavage whilst Wendy giggled, just like her fiancée she had missed this too or to be more precise, she had missed him.

_Elsewhere_

Jason turned off the hot tap as he placed the last of the dishes into the sink. He had just made a lovely (or what he called lovely) pasta meal of baked beans, chicken and ham for his 'room mates' or to be more precise, his late best friends widow and young son.

Jason let out a long sigh, god he missed Francis, they were the best of friends growing, super best friends even just like Stan and Kyle. They both had each other's back, whether it was from hanging out or getting into fights like during that whole Stick Of Truth fiasco which funny enough reminded him.

He really needed to give Douchebag and Annie a call and see how they were doing in Washington, they had to move due to Annie's new job around the time of … Francis's funeral …

Good lord the image of Francis's 5 year old son Scotty, Jason's god son clinging to him as he cried, asking ''Why does Daddy have to go?''

The sound of the fridge closing soon brought Jason out of his thoughts as he jumped a little.

''Sorry.'' Kelly asked. ''Didn't realise you were so deep in thought, penny for your thoughts?''

Jason laughed. ''How about the company of lovely lady instead?''

Kelly giggled and a worried look soon formed on her face.

''Were you thinking abo-'' She began before Jason cut her off.

''Yeah … well the … funeral, well Scotty … it just popped into my head, you know?'' He stopped to take a deep breath.

''It's the little things that brings the memories back … and the emotions.'' Kelly began as she started rubbing her left arm uneasily.

Feeling guilty Jason went over to pull her into a sympathy hug, the same kind of hug they've both got used to over the past year.

The same kind of hug Jason gave her at Francis's funeral, the same kind Kelly had given him when he help her collect the ashes and he broke down seeing little Scotty hug that tiny box so tight.

The same kind they often give each other at night since she and Scotty moved in, after they lost their house, unable to keep up with the payments.

Kelly rested her head against Jason's shoulder, ''This feels nice.'' She said.

''I promised him I'd take care of you two on his death bed.'' Jason reluctantly said.

''I know, you're a good man Jason for taking us in. Still can't believe Esther dumped you.'' Kelly commented as she lean closer to Jason, who hadn't noticed.

''Yeah nothing says you've been dumped then a dear john letter during your 1st year of university whilst your girlfriend is in China studying. Did you know Kevin still feels guilty over that because he introduced the guy to her? I keep telling him how was he supposed to know?'' He rambled until he noticed how close Kelly face was to his.

''Um … Kelly?''

''You're a good man Jason, Francis often said that.'' She said as she ran her fingers through his hair. ''He often said, once he found out he was terminal he knew you'd make sure we'd be ok.''

''Kelly …'' Jason said, almost like a whisper, he was feeling uneasy where this was heading. ''I … you're my best friends wife.''

''Widow''. She said coldly. 'I'm your late best friends widow.'' She took a deep breath before continuing.

''Francis has been gone for a year, I need to move on and I … No … I KNOW I can with you.''

''I was best man at your wedding.'' Jason blurted out. ''I … I don't know … I'm not saying I don't find you attractive.'' Jason stopped and mentally cursed himself.

''Jason you're a great guy, you've never asked for rent, you've paid for everything we needed until I was able to get myself together emotionally to find a job. You could have easily demanded to have sex with me in return.''

''Jesus Kelly'' Jason let out ''You were a mess, Scotty didn't leave his bed for a week, I couldn't turn you away like that. Besides you didn't owe me anything, we needed each other at the time, to help each other mourn.''

''And move on!'' She added sharply and before he could reply, she kissed him.

At first Jason didn't move, he actually started to kiss back, he couldn't fight it, Kelly was still an attractive woman after all. However and reluctantly he did, Kelly looking at him in confusion but he had to get this off his chest.

''I can't replace Francis.'' He stated.

''You're not.'' She smiled. 'But I do need to move on and Scotty needs a dad.''

Jason was about to interject but Kelly put a finger to his lips.

''And I'm not asking you to replace his real dad but you can't deny he does look to you like a father.''

Jason let out another sigh and nodded before giving Kelly a quick kiss on the lips.

''Ok.'' He began. ''But on one condition.''

''Ok.'' Kelly asked wide eyed and confused.

''Let me take you out to dinner, like a real date or something before we …. You know …'' Jason said as he made a little nod on the last two words.

Kelly blushed a little. ''I won't lie, it's been a year for me.''

''Yeah well….'' Jason began. ''It's been nearly two for me but you deserve to be treated like a lady, so this Saturday, we'll ask your in-laws to baby sit Scotty and we can go see a movie or get some dinner at a fancy restaurant …''

''And then back here for some private time?'' Kelly asked as she seductively licked her lips, Jason slowly but most definitely nodded with a smile.

''You … You really find me attractive?'' Jason asked in shock however the only reply he got was Kelly mumbling 'silly, yet handsome boy' as she pulled him into another long kiss.

This time however Jason didn't break it.

Kenny took another swig from his glass of water, he was thirsty as hell and was determined to get over this hangover.

He was 3 quarters of the way there and was still kicking himself for falling asleep during Stan's first scene as an adult film star, he promised him he'd 'review his technique' so to speak.

Thank his lucky stars he hadn't started snoring.

A thought then entered Kenny's mind, his childhood friend Stan, one of only a handful of kids who never gave him crap for being poor was now his co-star in a porn-SORRY, 'adult' movie. Kevin kept insisting they call them that, sounds better in interviews or when Kyle's mom gives them crap during the town hall meetings.

Kenny let out an annoyed grunt, he couldn't help but think that woman would shut up if she had a real good hard fuck from someone who could actually hold an erection for more then 30 seconds.

Of course Kenny wasn't going to volunteer, he had sworn off doing a friends mom after that one time he was 18 and washing windows for Mrs Marsh when she and her husband had gone on a trial separation.

Granted it was a great way to lose your virginity when your 18, plus Stan's mom was mega hot back then but again it was STAN'S mom.

The mother of one of his closet friends when growing up for heaven's sake, what the hell had he been thinking!? O yeah …. She was a smoking hot milf and had a pair of awesome tits.

Kenny chuckled to himself as he took a large gulp from his beer as he continued his trip down memory lane.

The next day the realisation had hit Kenny hard and he swore he wouldn't do something like that again, granted Mrs Marsh did say thank you alongside a very generous tip which put food on the table for a good month at his house.

However Stan never found out and he doubt Mr Marsh had either.

''Mr Marsh'' Kenny mumbled as he took a long and loud gulp from his water before holding it up to the sky. ''Here's to you good sir! Thanks for always making me feel welcome in your home, sorry I banged your wife mind you. Hope your not too pissed off up there or down there.''

He laughed as he then drank the remainder of his water whilst Karen his little sister stared at him in complete shock.

She had been sitting next to him this entire time.

''Kenny …'' She began. ''What the actual fuck!?''


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.

A/N: I swear Majuscule Milquetoast is a miracle worker when it comes to beta reading.

_The Past_

''That fucking bitch!'' 18 year old Kevin Stoley shouted at the top of his lungs after he finished his beer and then threw it hard onto the ground, smashing it completely.

''Waiting for marriage my arse! Red is a fucking two timing cheap slut!'' He shouted angrily towards Token Black's mansion, he didn't care if the rich prick heard him or not, he was too drunk and heart broken to care.

''I HOPE YOU GET A FUCKING STD YOU BITCH!'' He screamed even louder as he grabbed another beer from the 6 pack he and Lola 'helped' themselves to earlier.

''Fucking rich jackass!'' Lola said with bitterness and anger in her voice. ''No wonder Nicole ditched him in the end, he thinks he can act like his idol Tiger Woods with all of his money …''

She took a rather long and loud slurp from her beer, just like Kevin, Lola was feeling cheated, upset and heart broken after finding her boyfriend of 3 months banging Kevin's on/off girlfriend since elementary school Red.

''Correction.'' She started as she then crush her now empty beer can in her hand. ''His daddy's money!''

Lola finished as she threw her now empty can into the Black family fountain before checking the footage she recorded onto her phone.

She replayed as the anger filled her face, seeing her boyfriend who had been BEGGING her to give him a blowjob getting one and more, SO MUCH more from another guys girlfriend.

She glanced up at Kevin as he finished his third beer and crushed the empty can in his hands. After he threw it into the fountain he glanced over at Lola who could see the hurt and anger in his eyes. He looked back at her or to be precise her phone.

''How much did you record?'' He asked, his gaze never leaving the object in her hands.

''About just under 15 minutes of that two timing slut sucking off the rich prick who uses his money to cover up his small … 'heritance' so to speak.'' She stated as a mischievous grin appeared on her face at that last part.

''That it? I thought we recorded more?'' Kevin questioned as he grabbed another beer.

''That's the 1st half, the rest is when he was pounding her doggy style shouting how he was He-Man and screaming 'by the power of my giant black dick!' or some crap like that.'' Lola stated whilst typing away.

Kevin let out a 'pfft' sound as he opened his fourth beer of the evening. ''It wasn't that big, hell I'm probably bigger.''

Lola raised an eye brow at Kevin's comment, she had a two planned attack at getting revenge at Token for cheating on her and judging by Kevin's current state she had no doubt he'd have no objections.

''This'll be uploaded within 10 minutes onto youtube, then facebook where I'll tag it so even their folks will see it.'' She stated as she grabbed the last beer.

''I'm sure Red's dad will love waking up in the morning to see his baby girl getting fucked doggy style.''

Kevin let out a laugh. ''Pissed won't even describe it, they're like your friend Jenny's family, very strict Christians, they're all no sex before marriage and junk like that.''

He took another swig from his beer.

''Never really liked the guy but boy I would love to see the look on his face and the rest of their church friends when that video hits facebook.'' He clicked his fingers with a huge grin.

''Fuck didn't Token sleep with Testaburger and that's why Nicole ditched him? I bet Marsh would love some payback!''

''TRIED TO'' Lola stated. ''He tried to get into Wendy's panties so she crushed his balls to the point he screamed like a girl. She's surprisingly loyal to Stan, bizarrely.''

Kevin shrugged and wobbled at the same time but thankfully kept his balanced. ''I stand corrected.'' He stated as he let out a small laugh. ''Well I guess that's cool, Stan not that bad a guy, he's never given me shit like 'goddamn it Kevin' unlike a certain fat fuck!''

Lola grinned as she knew exactly who Kevin was talking about. ''If Eric Cartman killed himself I'd be the first in line to spit on his corpse.'' She stated remembering what the fat fuck had done to her best friend Jenny.

''I wouldn't even piss on him if he was on fire.'' He drank some of his beer. ''I'd just throw beer on him to make the fire bigger.''

A blip sound came from Lola's mobile stating upload complete. It was funny, this is probably the longest she's ever talked to Kevin Stoley AKA King of the Nerds that didn't involve school work and she was actually enjoying it.

She decided to take the risk as she pulled out a set of keys from her pocket.

''These are the keys to Token's dad's favourite car, it's like some 50s hot rod thing they've spent years and a hell of a lot of money on trying to refurbish it and make road worthy again.''

''So we grab say Stan and or Dovahkiin and smash it up?'' Kevin asked grinning.

''Why Dovahkiin?'' Lola asked confused.

A frown appeared on Kevin's face. ''Annie's dad was injured at work pretty bad so her family are struggling financially at the moment. Rumour has it Token offered her $100 for a quick fuck so yeah you can imagine her then ex-boyfriend wasn't too happy when she went crying to him about it.''

''Ah.'' Lola began. ''That explains how they got back together but no I had something more extreme in mind.''

She walked up to Kevin slowly and placed her hand on his chest, leaning forward to plant a quick kiss as her hand slowly moved towards it until reaching it's prized and giving it a small squeeze.

Kevin closed his eyes and moaned out ''O fuck yeah …'' Under his breath.

''You're not a bad guy Kevin, I mean you helped me pass my maths test last year so here's the deal.'' She began and Kevin opened his eyes and stared into hers. ''We're going to fuck like rabbits in Token's dad's favourite and expensive hot rod car and we're going to make sure we mess it up along the way. We're going to stain those expensive leather seats, smash the radio, fucking smash the windows and cut the tires. We'll also pour sugar into the engine to fuck it up but the main aim is to make it as messy as we can by fucking in it! You in?''

Kevin nodded as Lola's grip on a certain body part soon turned into a massage.

''Lose my virginity to a super hot cheerleader and get back at the prick who's currently fucking my ex-whore of a girlfriend? You bet I'm in but on one condition.'' He stated through heavy breathing his gaze never leaving Lola's.

''Oh?'' Lola playfully asked before letting out a playful yelp as Kevin grabbed her ass tight and pulled her closer to him.

''I want to lick your pussy until you squirt all over those nice expensive leather seats. Hell you don't even have to sleep with me, please just let me lick that pussy of yours until you cum all over my face and stain those ever so expensive leather seats.'' Kevin stated in a almost pleading manner.

At first Lola didn't answer, Kevin's confidence had caught her off guard but she had him begging to eat her out until she cums also turned her on.

She smiled at him as she undid his zipper and slid her hand into his boxers to double check something. Kevin let out a small moan but was quickly silenced with another quick kiss from her.

''O yeah.'' She began. ''This naughty nerd is definitely twice the size of the rich prick inside, hmmm yeah definitely want a taste of this.'' She stated before leading Kevin by the hand towards the garage.

The idea that she was going to be his first time and that it was going to be filthy was driving her crazy.

The Present

''And after he demonstrated his superb pussy eating skills I knew I had to marry him.'' Lola said smiling as Kevin was gently nibbling on her neck, one hand under her shirt whilst the other was …

''Oooo Kevin sweetie, you can have my ass when we get home. Such a naughty boy.'' She said licking her lips.

''God you're beautiful.'' Kevin commented as he lifted his head. ''And every time you tell that story it turns me on like a rabbit in heat.'' He then went back to kissing his wife's neck as Lola let out a ''O Kevin …'' in a soft moan.

''Wow …'' Stan said wide eyed as he took in what his new bosses had just told him. ''That's one hell of a first time story.'' He commented as he turned to Wendy.

''Huh, also wondered who uploaded that video and who trashed Token's car.'' She said offhandedly.

''Considering the amount of DNA evidence we left, I'm amazed we never got caught.'' Kevin stated in-between kissing his wife's neck in various spots before finally stopping to control himself.

''Home time sweetie?'' Lola questioned.

''Fuck yeah baby.'' Kevin hurriedly said as he got up and put on his jacket. ''I need you bad today.''

Lola giggled as he gathered her things whilst Stan and Wendy looked on feeling a bit awkward.

''Pitch meeting tomorrow.'' Lola began. ''See you guys there ok.'' She wasted no time grabbing Kevin's arm and rushing out the bar alongside him.

Stan and Wendy could easily still hear Kevin say 'I love you' as they left alongside Lola commenting how much she wanted his ass.

''Wow … they make a pretty um …. 'unique' couple.'' Stan tried to joke.

''Yeah.'' Wendy nodded. ''It's a shame when you dig deeper.''

''Huh? What do you mean babe?'' He quizzed whilst drinking his beer.

Wendy took a deep gulp from her beer before resuming. ''Lola said it herself once, she wished her and Kevin could make a baby as easily as they could film a porn movie.''

Stan's eyes went wide when it hit him.

''O …'' He began. ''How long have they been trying?''

''Nearly 3 years now …'' Wendy said looking glum as Stan pulled her into a tight hug.


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.

A/N: Honestly Majuscule Milquetoast, how do you do it? Your a real star you know that?

_The Morning After The Bar ... _

''So how does it look?'' Lola asked her husband who had his head buried in several piles of paper work on his desk, largely invoices, bills, emails and various letters ranging from fan mail to angry South Park residents.

Despite their actions in buying the refurbished and expensive public service station and re-branding it as 'Stoley Studios' there were still some residents who weren't keen on having a adult film studio in their town.

Of course they probably didn't know if the studio didn't exist their taxes would sky rocket to cover the construction costs after Token Black Productions pulled out mid-construction.

'Got to love Mayor Butters …'' Kevin mumbled to himself until Lola leaning over his desk, in a rather seductive way caught his attention.

''Huh?'' Kevin asked in a almost goofy like manner until his eyes went wide and his jaw dropped.

'HOLY COW!'' He shouted as he looked at his wife who was currently wearing a very sexy looking Spider-Woman outfit. She got off his desk and walked over to the office mirror to admire herself.

''O yeah, if this fits me fine, Wendy will definitely have no problems wearing it.'' She commented as she did a twirl.

''Damn Jenny really out did herself this time!'' He commented as he licked his lips, admiring how the red leather did an amazing job showing off Lola's curves. ''Very nice … very sexy …''

Lola was too engrossed in the mirror in Kevin's office to notice her husband slowly walking over to her from behind.

Lola let out a small 'yelp' as Kevin grabbed her chest, pulled on the material covering them, which came apart exposing her breasts in all of their glory.

''Nice to see the Velcro straps work fine.'' He gave them a gentle squeeze. 'Tell me the truth my sexy Lola, did you come into my office wearing his hoping to take care of some 'other' business before the meeting in an hour?'' He asked as he licked her earlobe.

''Mmmmm'' She purred. ''Won't lie, this costume does need a 'real test' run before we start filming next week.'' She made sure to empathize the words 'real test' before pulling her husband into a passionate kiss.

Kevin's right hand went lower and found the other Velcro strap covering another rather 'sensitive' area. Gently he pulled on it and it opened up with ease as Lola kissed his cheek.

''Of course as owner's of this company we have to ensure a certain level of health and safety to our talent'' He commented in a rather authoritative manner as he gently guided Lola over to his desk.

She slid onto it, pushing all of the papers off, they could re-sort them later she thought.

''It would be very unprofessional if we didn't ensure this well made costume wasn't completely safe for the very extreme filming we plan to use it for.'' He stated in a very business like manner as he unbuttoned his shirt.

''O but of course.'' Lola purred as her husband got on his knees in front of her however before he leaned forward he asked ''We've still got an hour before the writers meeting right?''

Lola let out a annoyed grunt, placed her hand on the back of Kevin's head and said ''Yes! Goddamn it Kevin! Now do what I married you for!'' As she pushed his head forward not noticing the huge grin on his face. Being a tease was part of the game.

Stan's hand was inches away from the door of Kevin's office, he was about to knock until he heard the sound of one of his bosses (namely Lola) moaning, panting and even screaming the words ''O baby yeah, that's it, right there, I fucking love you Kevin!''.

You didn't need to be rocket science genius like Ike to know what those two were up too.

He turned to leave only to see Brad AKA Bluecap walking up the hallway, ''Hey Stan, is Kevin free?''

Before Stan could answer a rather loud ''FUCK YES! RIGHT THERE! FUCKING LICK IT!'' could be heard from the office.

Stan's face turned red whilst Bluecap started to chuckle, he placed his hand over his mouth in an attempt to not laugh too loud mind.

Stan rolled his eyes and pointed to the other end of the hallway, Bluecap nodded and the pair were soon gone.

''So …'' Stan began. ''Does that happen often?''

''Everyday they're at it.'' Bluecap laughed. ''Kind of works in our favour, the crew and talent get to chill out if those two are relaxed before a shoot.''

''I guess with them always trying for a baby as well. Have they thought about adopting?'' Stan questioned.

''They were until the local bible lovers started a smear campaign against us. Took us a good 4 months to prove the crap they started was complete bull shit. Apparently being consenting adults to agree to fuck on camera alongside paying our taxes isn't a good enough reason for them.'' Bluecap replied, deep anger in his voice towards the end.

''Sorry I didn't mean to bring up bad memories'' Stan quickly said, trying to sound apologetic as possible.

Bluecap's eyes went wide. ''O no sorry dude it's not that, it's more to do with who's running the local bible nut jobs now because we know the real reason they hate us.''

''Who?'' Stan quizzed.

''Heidi Turner is the current chairwoman and she joined them after Craig divorced her. Apparently their marriage was so awful it turned him gay and trust me he is definitely gay now, I know.'' He commented as he raised his eye brows up and down. ''If you get what I mean?''

''O … Are you and Craig like a couple or something?'' Stan asked.

Bluecap shook his head. ''Nah, still single myself, I just happened to find Craig in Mr Slave's gay bar one night looking very awkward and unsure, so I offered to help him with a weekend of passion and a shoulder to cry on if he needed it.''

Stan eyes went wide again, he was so amazed at how cool and confident Bluecap was about his sexuality, he was always the quiet kid who people forgot about back in school.

''Won't lie.'' Bluecap began. ''I'm a bit jealous, Tweek's a very lucky man, heck we have a contract with them to get our coffee and breakfast stuff from his dad's place.'' A smile formed on Bluecap's face.

''You wouldn't believe it if I told you Craig Tucker was really into his cuddles would you? Guy was very sensual, the type of thing someone like Tweek badly needs you know.''

Stan nodded, he knew exactly where Bluecap was coming from.

''But as I was saying.'' Bluecap began. ''Heidi bizarrely blames us for making her ex-husband gay, apparently treating your husband like shit doesn't factor into her and Cartman's logic.''

''CARTMAN!? ERIC CARTMAN!?'' Stan borderline shouted

''Yep but he hooked up with them because Kevin told him to go fuck himself with his mom's dildo when he demanded we let him star in a Wild, Wild, West parody. Plus I'm sure the fact your dad convinced his mom and your uncle Jimbo to film some stuff for us didn't help.'' Bluecap laughed but then stopped as Stan stared at him in shock, his mouth a gasped.

''You … you did know your dad directed a few movies for us right?'' Stan nodded at Bluecap who contined.

''You did know about him hiring your uncle Jimbo and Ned to bang Cartman's mom right? Or Butter's folks? … Or Officer Barbrady? ….Or Thomas's mom? …. Or my moms? …. Or some strippers to help cheer up Clyde's dad? ….. You knew right?''

Stan just stood there in shock as Bluecap then started clicking his fingers to get a reaction out of Stan.

''O … crap …'' He mumbled as he rushed to find Wendy.

An hour passed and soon the meeting room was filled with the talent and crew ready for the pitch meeting. It was a once a week event at Stoley Studios as it usually took them a week to write up the script, get the costumes, props, etc before they even considered a shooting schedule.

Thankfully despite the earlier incident Stan was back to normal so to speak, largely thanks to Wendy giving him an 'old fashioned' which naturally helped.

''Ok.'' Kevin began as he used a towel to finish drying his hair. He and Lola had not long come out of the shower. ''So anyone got any ideas for films they'd like to star in or in Jason's case write?''

He quickly glanced over the room as usual talent wise Douglas, Emily and Kenny were there alongside the newbies Wendy and Stan. Granted they had other talent like Milly, Lizzie, Tommy Edwards and the Goths but they were more 'part time' talent, this wasn't their full bread and butter so to speak.

Crew wise Jason the head writer had shown up as he was the one who usually made the film suggestions, Bebe their other writer and part time make up artist was still on vacation with her husband so she couldn't be there obviously.

Lola naturally was present as she's also head of make-up as well as co-owner of the studio. On very rare occasions talent if Kevin was playing Spock in a Star Trek parody.

Pete Melman had also shown up as he delivered the latest batch of costumes his talented wife Jenny Simon had made for them. He also on occasion did some editing work for them if full time editor Tommy Turner was busy who was currently sitting next to him as they were comparing notes before the meeting began.

''Well what hasn't been turned into a por-SORRY, I mean 'adult film' parody?'' questioned Douglas as he laid out some playing cards on the large office table. He had started a game of solitaire whilst waiting for everyone else and was determined to finish it.

''Better question.'' His wife Emily asked, ''What has been made into a parody and sucked SO BAD that we could remake it and do a better job?''

''Anything by XXX-Treme Comix!'' Tommy Turner, head editor said with the laugh which was soon followed by Kevin, Lola and Kenny laughing, the latter giving Tommy a high five.

''How about we do a parody about that bitch of a half sister of mine?'' He asked, Lola just rolled her eyes.

''No Tommy, like I said last time, do you really want us to get that sort of bad press?''

''Besides no one else besides this shit ass red neck mountain town knows who the hell she is!'' Douglas added.

Jason clicked his fingers. ''I've got it!'' He exclaimed with a smile.

Kevin let out a sigh, ''Jason for the last time we are not making Sonic XXX! I don't care how big and untapped the furry market is, it would take forever to clean the cum out of the fur-suits!'' He stated.

''But I have script all written.'' Jason quickly replied.

''I said no Jason!'' Kevin stated before turning back to the room. ''Anyone else?''

''How about Marvel Vs DC? You guys have got enough costumes and talent to pull it off and heck there's enough heroes to make it at least two to three movies tops.'' Pete added.

''I wouldn't say no to playing Batgirl again.'' Emily said as Douglas nodded. ''Yeah that was a fun shot yesterday, always been a Nightwing fan as a kid.''

''Tempting ….'' Kevin said as he stroked his chin, his only concern was if they could get enough talent to pull it off.

''If we're going to do a video game how about something with more human looking characters? Like Resident Evil or Tomb Raider?'' Emily added.

''Your just looking for any excuse for your husband to do you in a monster suit aren't you?'' Wendy laughed.

''My wife's a bit of a pervert.'' Douglas joked to Stan as Emily hit him playfully with a rolled up newspaper.

''I don't think A Resident Evil one has been made … well not involving tentacles and made in Japan …. '' Kevin said as he tried to think.

''Tomb Raider's been done to death mind. Heck there's even a lesbian one, Sally and me caught it the other week online.'' Tommy commented as he wrote down some notes.

''What happened to that Scarlet Spider one you mentioned to me?'' Stan asked.

''We've not got a plot fully laid out yet for Jason to write a script too nor a Scarlet Spider costume.'' Lola commented.

''Mario Bros?'' Kenny asked.

''Done to death, trust me I know.'' Jason added.

''If you wanted to do Halo I'm sure Jenny could make something that would open easily and comfortably for the crotch area.'' Pete commented as he started goggle searching for video game franchises on his mobile phone.

''Great now I've got this mental image of Master Chef sniping aliens or whatever he fights as two hot female G.I's give him a BJ through the dick hole in his crotch armour.'' Stan commented.

''Fuck I'd pay to watch that porn-I MEAN 'adult parody.'' Douglas said rather quickly to correct himself.

Wendy leaned over to Stan and started messing with his hair, ''Mmmm I wouldn't say no to filming that sweetie.''

''Wreck It Ralph?'' Kenny asked as he start throwing a small rubber ball up against the wall repeatedly.

''He's gonna wreck that pussy!'' Tommy joked, earning a loud gut laugh from Pete and Kenny.

Lola rolled her eyes before Emily added ''A Barbie parody would be fairly cheap to make.''

Kevin turn to the white board behind him and wrote the words 'Barbie' and 'Resident Evil' under the words 'Film Ideas' which was underlined.

''We need a few low budget ones in terms of costumes so Barbie is a definite green light but Resident Evil we'll need to do some more research on.'' He commented as he taped the whiteboard. ''Any other ideas? Because we're here for a full two hours gang.''

''Are these meetings always like this?'' Stan asked.

'No usually Jason and Kevin end up playing a game of Yu-Gi-Oh! To decide if they should make the Sonic porn parody or not.'' Kenny said before realising his mistake. ''ADULT MOVIE! I MEANT ADULT MOVIE!''

Jason then clicked his fingers, ''Hell yeah a Yu-Gi-Oh! Parody! That'll be piss easy and cheap to make!''

Kevin quickly wrote it down on the whiteboard and also made a mental note to himself to practice his best Dan Green impression.


	5. Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.

A/N: Thanks once again to Majuscule Milquetoast for the beat reading. Also originally this was going to be a lot longer, however after realising how delayed this chapter had been I thought why not end on a cliffhanger of sorts.

''Well thanks Mark for the tip, I owe you and Nicole one …. What? …. Yes, yes you can totally have a copy of the Batman The Animated Series XXX when it's finished dude.'' Kevin said as he hit end call on his phone.

He then let out a long and loud sigh, this was something he didn't want to deal with today especially as they were all set to start filming Halo XXX within 2 hours.

Kevin placed his head in his hands whilst he grumbled in annoyance, not noticing or even hearing his wife enter the office wearing a rather 'interesting' outfit.

''Sweetie what's wrong?'' Lola asked as Kevin slowly lifted his head up and immediately his jaw dropped at the sight before him.

''I … I … I mean um …. Is that the newest outfit from Jenny?'' He finally managed to ask after his little stammer moment.

''I know right? It's so spot on in the detail.'' Lola giggled as she did a twirl, showing off the latest creation from her super best friend Jenny, it was a replica of the current female Captain Marvel costume from the Marvel comics series.

Kevin started to get up out of his chair, he needed a good distraction from the news Mark Cotswolds had just told him. Thank god they still had friends on the council committee he thought.

''No you don't.'' Lola commented as she walked over to her husband and pushed him back into his chair and within a flash was straggling him.

''I recognised that look on your face when I walked in.'' She began. ''It's the one you always have when you've had some bad news.'' She gave him a quick kiss before continuing.

''Now what is it sweetie?''

Kevin wrapped his arms around his wife's waist and took a deep breath and exhaled.

''We've got a new health and safety inspector assigned to us.'' He began.

Lola looked at Kevin confused. ''And that's bad because?''

''It's Kyle Broflovski.'' Kevin replied before burying his head into his wife's chest to let out an annoyed grunt.

Initially this had caught her off guard but Lola soon smiled as she brushed her fingers through Kevin's jet black hair.

''Relax I'll sort it, you go and film the Halo stuff ok?'' She said alongside a quick kiss to the lips.

Lola then placed her hands on Kevin's shoulders and proceeded to give him a quick massage to check something.

''Wow this has really stressed you out, you're so tense sweetie.'' She said as a mischievous smile formed on her face. ''We've got an hour until you're needed on set right?''

Kevin didn't answer he just got out of his chair, picking up his wife at the same time and gently placed her on his desk as she giggled to get his belt undone.

…

''O thank you Master Chief for saving us.'' Wendy cooed to Stan who was currently wearing a Master Chief costume, whilst Lizzie started to make a circle motion with her finger on his chest plate.

''Yeah those covenant aliens would have killed us or worse if you hadn't shown up.'' She said seductively as she licked her lips.

Both Wendy and Lizzie were currently dressed in the military uniform from the Halo game series, Kevin had wanted them to go full armour but Lola pointed out how awkward the undressing for the sex scenes would be.

Plus thanks to Jenny, Stan was currently wearing a full replica Master Chief armour with some slight alterations, namely around the crotch area for 'easy' access so to speak.

The film needed 5 scenes so the plan was, Stan would wear the armour for this scene and they'd dub over his voice so they could use him and Wendy again for later on.

Despite being a adult film star now, Stan still wasn't 100% comfortable having sex with anyone else but Wendy and only agreed to film this one alongside Lizzie as she would only be giving him a BJ before she and Wendy start a 69 and he'd then start banging Wendy as Lizzie ate her out at the same time.

He wasn't like Kenny or Tommy Edwards and didn't plan to be but damn this was still the best $200 he would ever earn.

Kevin had no problem agreeing to this, heck he and Lola suggested it and it wasn't like they hadn't done something similar before, Douglas and Emily were the same, they'd only film sex scenes with one another and no one else.

Well except that one time threesome but all Emily did was give Tommy a blowjob whilst Douglas fucked her.

''How can we ever thank you?'' Wendy asked as she leaned up against Stan, as he in turn wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her closer.

''Well…'' Stan began as his hand moved to grab Wendy's ass and squeezed it hard, she in turn letting out a playful 'oh!'. ''I've been in deep space for so long, I wouldn't say no to a little shore leave if you get my drift?''

''But what about the aliens?'' Lizzie asked acting with fake concern, slowly pulling down her jump suit zipper, showing off a little bit of cleavage. What she lacked in acting ability she definitely made up with those large tits of hers.

''Relax ensign, I killed them all, no one's going to interrupt our little strategy meeting.'' Stan replied as Kevin looked over at Jason who was operating the boom mic.

''I know it's not my best dialogue but I'm not a Halo fan remember?'' He stated as Kevin shrugged however both were soon focused again at the sound of a belt bucket being undone.

Both Wendy and Lizzie were on their knees in front of Stan, playing around and giggling as they opened up the crotch plate armour and soon fished out penis.

''Mmmm it looks tasty.'' Wendy said as she slowly stroked her fiancée whilst Lizzie leaned forward. ''Can I have first lick?''

It wasn't long until the studio was filled with nothing but the sounds of Stan moaning in pleasure as two hot babes were loudly sucking and slurping on his hard cock.

…

Elsewhere in the studio building, Lola Stoley had the 'honour' of escorting the South Park council's newest health and safety inspector namely a former school class mate named Kyle Broflovski.

It wasn't that Lola disliked or even hated Kyle, it was more due to the fact his mother was one of the council members opposed to them and was always trying to do something to make their jobs more difficult.

Heck she would hate to admit but she was positive Kyle's mom was more then likely is the reason he's a health and safety inspector assigned to them now.

Of course Lola doubted Mrs Broflovski knew her son was a fan of their gay themed adult movies she had directed such as the gay Batman one starring Kenny, thank god he was gay for pay.

''So Kyle how's life treating you? It feels like forever since we all left for college.'' Lola asked smiling.

''Not bad, could be better in regards to my dating life but I can't complain I guess. I mean it could be worse but I wouldn't say no to a date.'' He stated before letting out a rather loud sigh, his current lack of a love life was really hitting him hard.

''I'm guessing it's been a while since, well, you know?'' Lola asked with sympathy because at the end of the day, Kyle wasn't an arsehole like a certain giant fat bag of shit who shall remain nameless.

Kyle's eyes went wide after Lola asked her question and he realised what he had said.

''Sorry didn't mean to just drop it like that, it's just with the sex tape scandal involving Ike and the Canadian royal family, things at home have been a bit stressed. Trying to go to the bar to pick up a one night stand is kind low on my list of priorities sadly.'' He stated as he finished with another sigh.

''I didn't picture you as the type of guy who liked casual sex with strangers. I'm guessing afte-'' Lola was about to say before Kyle interrupted her.

''It's more to do with the fact I'm not ready to commit to a relationship again especially after the disastrous one I had a college.'' He began.

''I mean how was I supposed to know the guy in my dorm who I had been screwing for over 6 months was married to a woman?''

Lola's eyes went wide as Kyle dropped that bombshell, ''Wow …'' She simply mumbled.

She was about to take Kyle to the staff room to grab some coffee so he could finish up his paperwork when fate had other ideas.

''THAT'S IT SUCK ON HIS COCK! GAG ON IT YOU LITTLE WHORE!'' Wendy shouted at the top of her lungs.

Kyle's eyes went wide in shock. ''That sounded like Wendy ….'' He trailed off.

''Say Kyle how about that coffee?'' Lola asked nervously before he heard anything else more shocking.

''AH YEAH! TWIRL YOUR TONGUE AROUND IT! YEAH JUST LIKE THAT! FUCK YEAH!'' Stan shouted as Kyle's shocked expression turned into horror and Lola started cursing herself for not sound proofing the sets.

''Was that …. Stan?'' Kyle finally managed to blurt out. Lola let out a rather long and loud sigh at the question, she really wasn't in the mood for this.

''Look Kyle.'' She began. ''Stan is an adult, if he and Wendy want to paid $200 to have sex in costume as we record them, it's their choice ok?''

Kyle looked at the floor, then slowly at Lola and then nodded before asking ''$200?''

''YEAH THAT'S IT!'' Stan shouted again. ''LICK OUT HER PUSSY WHILST I FUCK HER!''

Soon all Kyle and Lola could hear was Wendy moaning and groaning, begging Stan to go 'harder, faster' in-between breaths.

There was only one question Kyle had to know the answer to, ''They are back together right? The wedding is back on right?'' he asked eyes full of worry.

Lola smiled and placed a hand on Kyle's shoulder, Stan was his super best friend and everyone had been concerned for him since his father's passing, Kyle most of all.

''Let's just say me and Kevin played a hand in getting those love birds back together. Granted it wasn't easy, Wendy was hating herself for breaking up with him over some lame movie role and for missing Randy's funeral. She didn't even know he had died until she moved back here and read the South Park Gazette during her interview for here.''

Kyle smiled at the news. 'And because of your couples rule you suggested to her to try and attempt to talk to Stan right?''

''Bingo.'' Lola replied. ''Plus more money for the wedding or a baby, depends really. Life is full of so many surprises.'' She chuckled as she reached into her pocket to show Kyle something.

''So many nice little surprises and this one is for Kevin's birthday.'' She continued to say whilst smiling as Kyle saw what she was holding. His eyes went wide, it was a pregnancy test and it was positive.

''Holy Crap'' He thought and then it dawned on him. ''Wait … Kevin's birthday isn't for another 3 weeks isn't it?''

A mischievous grin appeared on Lola's face. ''O I know that and now you know that but …'' She played around with the pregnancy test in-between her fingers and she drew out the 'but'.

''We have a few more costumes for our female talent on the way from Jenny, and I would be a terrible employer if I didn't ensure they were fully 'tested' before commencing any filming with them.''

She licked her licks as she empathised the word 'tested' as Kyle looked on raising an eyebrow in confusion.

''Huh?''

''You know I might be able to help you get laid BUT you need to do me a favour.'' Lola asked as she smiled at Kyle.

''I ..'' Kyle began with a stammer.

''Please? Pretty please?'' Lola continued as she fluttered her eyes at Kyle.

''Let me guess, get my mom to back off right?'' He asked.

''Bingo!'' Lola squeeled.

Kyle tapped his clipboard as he thought it over. ''Ok deal but he better be hot.''

Lola laughed. ''You should know, last time I checked you slept with him in high school.''

Kyle's eyes right wide as soon as it hit him. ''Waitaminute!'' He began. ''When did Bluecap move back to South Park?''


End file.
